Sorry, Pluto
by ShadowSandrock
Summary: Sailor Pluto is informed that she no longer exists in the worst of circumstances... sorry, Setsuna!


**Sorry, Pluto!**

_This is an A/U fan fiction by Shadow Sandrock where Sailor Pluto receives the news that she is no longer Sailor Pluto at the most inconvenient of times._

As the daimohn dome began to encase Mugen School, Sailors Uranus, Neptune and Pluto gracefully, magnificently and elegantly raced towards the Mugen School in their Super Outer Solar System Sailor Soldiers Helicopter of Wrath™.

"The daimohn blob is growing!" shouted Uranus with surprise as she noticed the pink sphere envelop several buildings. "I think the only way in will be through that convenient hole in the roof of the dome, just big enough for our Super Outer Solar System Sailor Soldiers Helicopter of Wrath™!"

Neptune nodded. "Yes, Uranus, but will there be enough room for your big, manl—"

"Now's… not the time," Pluto muttered, intervening on their lovey-dovey moment. "Now is the time to think about how we are going to prevent this big pink daimohn glop from taking over the entire planet, and to, you know, protect our princess and stuff like that."

"Right," said Uranus and Neptune in unison. "So," added Uranus. "Do you got any ideas, Pluto?"

Pluto stood silent for a minute, then gasped. "Hey, what's that light down there?"

Neptune produced her Deep Aqua Mirror from nowhere and began to scry. "It looks like Venus, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter are holding the blob back using some sort of encasing technique!"

"I always knew they were useful for something," added Uranus.

"Uranus!" scolded Neptune. "Don't be so mean to such pretty girls!"

Pluto rolled her eyes. "Well, in any case, while the others hold off the big blob of Tokyo-crushing bubblegum, we should worry about getting the patent-pending Super Outer Solar System Sailor Soldiers Helicopter of Wrath™ into that hole!"

"I'd like to think about getting a lot of things into holes," said Uranus.

"You two!" said Pluto angrily. "Honestly, what would you do without me? You'd run around stealing pure hearts from the Princess' Guardians, that's what you'd do!"

Neptune turned around. "Pluto, don't be so rude. We appreciate everything you do for us."

"Yeah," added Uranus. "Including stealing this helicopter from the government, that was slick, Pluto."

The helicopter began to hover directly over the hole in the barrier. "It's time to descend!" shouted Uranus. "Prepare for landing! Fasten your seat belts!"

"Oh, I'll fasten your seat belt," Neptune obligatorily added, ignoring the groan coming from the back seat. Suddenly, daimohn heads began to shoot out of the pink blob of daimohn-ness, attacking the airplane!

"What the f," groaned Uranus. "This only happens to us… now what do we do?"

Neptune had a grand idea. She turned on the windshield wipers, effectively repelling one of the daimohns. "I'm so smart!" Neptune said. "Don't you agree, Uranus?"

"You're so a lot of things," said Uranus with a smile as she lovingly gazed into Neptune's eyes, oblivious to Pluto bashing daimohns left and right with her Time Staff.

"I could use some help here," shouted Pluto, whipping her Time Staff around and braining daimohns left and right. "I can't repel them on my own! They're going to take down the helicopter!"

"Fine, whatever," groaned Uranus, standing up and charging a World Shaking attack. "World-oooooooooo! Shaking!" The attack slammed into the helicopter, causing it to explode.

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto looked around the burning helicopter, realizing that nothing was moving or burning at all. "Gee, Pluto," said Neptune. "Way to stop time."

"Actually, I didn't," said Pluto, looking very nervous. "I'm pretty sure I didn't, anyway…"

A glow from the sky began to shine brightly, illuminating everything. "What's that?" said Pluto, brandishing her Time Staff. "Is that the enemy?"

"Is that the Messiah!" shouted Uranus. "Messiah…"

Neptune rolled her eyes. "The Messiah needs to have the holy grail to appear, remember? I think that's God."

"Yes, it is I, ruler of the universe, Sailor Cosmos!" shouted the voice. "I'm not God, but I'm pretty close. I come here to bring you news."

"That we're all dead?" asked Uranus.

Sailor Cosmos chuckled. "Not quite. I have come here to inform Sailor Pluto that she no longer exists."

"What!" gasped the three soldiers. "You're kidding, right?" added Pluto.

Cosmos sighed. "No, some astronomers in Switzerland decided that you don't have a planet to protect anymore. Since this is anime and non-planets do not have representative Sailor Soldiers like the manga does, you basically can't exist. You break the rules."

"But… Sailor Moon doesn't protect a planet," said Pluto nervously.

"Yeah, but she's the Moon Princess and you're not," replied Cosmos.

Pluto rolled her eyes. "This is complete bull! How are we supposed to stop Pharaoh 90 from taking over this galaxy if I can't stop time so Uranus and Neptune can defeat her?"

"That's really not my problem," said Cosmos. "It's really not your fault that Uranus destroyed the helicopter when you could've just as easily jumped down there, is it, Pluto?"

"I guess it isn't," said Pluto.

"What does this mean?" shouted Uranus. "Are we going to lose Pluto?"

A giant hand reached down from the sky and placed an index card in front of Uranus. "Well, if you have a problem with it, you can have my business card and call my hotline, but unfortunately today's a holiday and nobody's working. I anticipate your call!" Sailor Cosmos retreated and Sailor Pluto vanished. Echoes of Pluto's voice shouting unkind words filled the empty time and space.

"Well, since time seems to be frozen anyway, I guess now would be the time to infiltrate the enemy's base," said Uranus with a shrug. "That kind of sucks about Pluto, though."

Neptune grinned. "Actually, if time's frozen like this, we could have all the alone time we need…"

"I love alone time," whispered Uranus into Neptune's ear as they clasped hands and jumped off the plane.


End file.
